From the Mouths of Babes

Ahhh yes.  Leave it to the young and innocent to say everything they think or feel.  It may be brutal and honest, but entertaining nonetheless.

Hey!  Why do the children’s names make me feel they’re related to C3PO or R2D2? Well my friends of The Force there is a method to my madness.  Because I feel it would be rude and inconsiderate to disclose names of these children, I have a code.  The first part, (number)(yo), means they are ___ years old.  The middle is quite easy to figure out.  Girl means the child is female, boy means male!  Finally, the last letter is their first initial.  Got it?  Good.

Me: Are you going to be a mommy when you grow up?
3yoGirlA: No, I don’t really like kids…and I don’t know how to make one.

Me: I’m going to California today.
8yoBoyD: When?
Me: Today…
8yoBoyD: Who, me?
Me: No…me…

3yoGirlI: *Crying* I need to go feel better Nici.
(Essentially putting herself in time out)

3yoBoyK is a boy I nanny for, and his older brother, BigBoyK has met me before on many occasions. BigBoy gets home from school one day…
3yoBoyK: Hey BigBoyK, this is my friend Nici!

2yoGirlI: Does yous has a frog in your throat Nici?

3yoGirlA: How do you say Cheerios in Spanish?
Me: I think it’s just Cheerios.
3yoGirlA: It’s not Rearios?
Me: I don’t think so.

2yoGirlH: *Said cheerfully throughout the day* I’m not crying!

Me: What’s your middle name?
2yoGirlI: Leonardo De Goosy!

5yoGirlM: If I’m bad then my parents will put me outside in the woods then I’ll get abducted by aliens.

3yoGirlA: It’s kind of a crappy day out.

5yoGirlM: This is just too hard even for a 5 year old girl!

3yoBoyK: Hey Nici, let’s watch Kai-lan!
Me: Mmmm….nope!
*5 minutes later*
3yoBoyK: Hey Nici! Let’s watch Kai-lan!
Me: Uhhhh…nope!
*5 minutes later*
3yoBoyK: Hey Nici, Let’s watch Kai-lan!
Me: Hm…nahhhh.
*Hour later, at lunch table*
3yoBoyK: Hey Nici, let’s watch Kai-lan! *pause* No. Hey Nici, let’s watch Kai-lan! *pause* No. Hey Nici! Let’s watch Kai-lan! *pause* No.

3yoGirlA: Ah! My flip flop fell off!
Me: Reverse and go get it!
3yoGirlA: What’s reverse?
Me: It means back up.
3yoGirlA: In Spanish?
Me: Nope.
3yoGirlA: Ing-gah-lish?
Me: Yep!

*Points to mud on floor*
Me: What is this mess on the floor?
3yoBoyK: Ummm…it’s just some okay. It’s okay.

3yoBoyO: Pound it! *Pounds my fist*

3yoBoyK: Let’s watch the Beckaoranges!
(It took me some time to figure this one out. I racked my brain for any kid show that sounded like it had orange in it, that had oranges in it, or that had characters that were orange. I would guess, and everything I guessed was wrong. Asked the mom later and it was…The Backyardigans!)

3yoGirlC: *Referring to life-size doll* Why is there nails in her body?

5yoGirlL: Ask her, she knows about the Mexicans.

3yoGirlC: I’m not your best friend! *Turns and hugs life size Barbie*

5yoGirlL: *Down on hands and knees grabbing my leg* PUH-LEAZE!  I just can’t take it anymore!  Please let me play the Wii!  I can’t take it!

3yoGirlC: You have a computer?  At your house?
Me: Yep!
3yoGirlC: *Gasps* And you have a mom at your house?
Me: Yes I do!
3yoGirlC: *Gasps* And a dad at your house?
Me: Yeah!
3yoGirlC: Me too! *Big grin*

Shannon and I: Look!  Paper towels!
3yoGirlC: Woooow!

3yoGirlC: No no Yoda, get down!  (Referring to my dog, Lola.)

3yoGirlC: I’m wearing my retard! (Leotard)

3yoGirlC: What’s a bow?
Me: What you’re holding in your hand.
3yoGirlC: Whats this thing in my hand?
Me: A bow.

5yoGirlL’s version of Hush Little Baby:
“Hush little baby faagaafaaaa,
momma’s gonna buy you a fussing goat.
And if that fessing goat don’t sing,
momma’s gonna buy you a hummingbird.”

5yoGirlL: Jing-GER bells!  Jing-GER bells!  Jing-GER all the waaaaaay!

11yoGirlM: Tip: Never ask boys to do crafts…or anything!