Hope you’re all having a terrific Tuesday and if not, may this post bring some sunshine into your day! 

1. Changing the toilet paper roll – Oh.  My.  God.  It amazes me just how impossible this really is for men.  Why is this so complicated?  And why is it that they will use the last bit of toilet paper on the current roll, go into the cabinet underneath the sink to grab a new roll, use more, and then set it on the freaking counter right above the toilet paper roll. It’s so close.  And you’ve already done more than half the work.  So what’s with not putting it on the roll?  Please, if there are any men reading this, can you tell me?  I fear that if I were to die in some tragic, freak accident tomorrow…Phil would not understand or be able to replace rolls of toilet paper.  Poor Phil.  And WTF do bachelors do?  Have oodles upon oodles of empty tp rolls scattered about the bathroom?  Nevermind.  I don’t care.
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2. Crafting – STORY TIME!  So there I was sitting on the couch.  Pregnant, bored, and crafting.  You know…the usual.  Phil was sitting next to me and offered to help me with my craft.  I know, I know.  Crazytalk right?  I was shocked too.  So I told him he could help me by cutting this and stretching that then looping the other thing.  The craziest part?  He did.  And then, with the saddest, most pathetic look I have EVER seen in my life he turns to me and says, “Baby…I really hate this.”  But OMGHOLYSHITPROPS to him for trying.  That’s love, behbeh.
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3. Caring about your purchases/bargains – So maybe I’m just totally weird but I’m pretty sure that every woman out there (especially my fellow bargain-hunters.  Target clearance?  Helloooooooo Heaven!) gets excited about purchases and wants to show them off.  So we shop, we come home, and then comes the question.  “Wanna seeeeeee what I gaaaaahhhhht loverschnookumhoneybuns?”  That’s when the men know they’re doomed.  “Yes, dear.”  And then we pull each and every little thing out of the bags and proudly proclaim how we “just stumbled upon this” and “only paid (insert low price here)” for it.  But really?  It’s against some law, somewhere that men cannot care about these kinds of things.  Psst!  Men?  Don’t think we don’t see your eyes sneaking off in the opposite direction towards the TV.  Because we do.
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4. Putting the toilet seat down – This is actually one thing my man is semi-capable of doing.  And I love him for it.  But I know that most men are reallyreallysuperbad at this.  I’ve heard the argument.  I’m sure we all have.  “It’s not that hard for YOU to put it down, is it?”  Says the man.  “No.  I suppose it isn’t.  So since it’s so easy, why don’t you do it?”  Says the clever woman.  HA.  The.  End.
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5. Understanding “woman speak” - You men have all heard it.  When she says no but really means yes.  Or when you ask what’s wrong and she replies “nothing”.  You men know but you’ll never understand.  And honestly?  I don’t know why we do it.  Because WE know you don’t understand and we still expect you to.  Weird creatures, us women.
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6. Holding a conversation while playing video games – There you are, shooting up some zombies, swearing at them because, dangit!  They ruined your nice window that you just repaired with the fanciest, most decorative boards.  Stupid zoms, can’t they just go through the door?  Anywhoodles.  Wifey has a question for you.  Do you pause the game?  OH.  HELL.  NAW.  There’s some guy-rule that says “thou shall not pause video games for thine wife”.  Instead of pausing, you try to converse with us while you’re still knifing those bitches.  “Yeah?”  You ask, with your eyes wide and glued to the TV.  We ask the question, and I’m pretty sure you don’t hear.  But you nod.  Or say yes.  And when we ask, “Now what did I just say to you?”  You try to repeat the one word you heard which seems the most important.  Gah.  Just hit the start button and get the quick conversation over with.  But that would require *gasp* LISTENING TO US.  *Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn*
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7. Putting laundry in the laundry basket - The basket is RIGHT. FREAKING. NEXT TO YOU.  You change your clothes.  And what do you do with them?  Put them on the floor.  Next to the laundry basket.  Why?  This is quite similar to the toilet paper roll dilemma.  What is so much harder about putting it into a basket!?  Again, my simple mind just doesn’t understand.
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8. Multitasking – Guys just suck at this, end of story.  Women rock.
9. Answering phones/returning texts – This is one of those depends on the guy and depends on the situation.  But my guy is sometimes rather awful at this.  “Sorry baby, my phone was in the utensil drawer!”  I’m sure you’ve all heard that excuse a time or two…no?  Just me?  Oh..
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10. Cloth diapering – I’ve seen pictures of some men changing cloth diapers.  ARE THEY REAL?  DID SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP THEM?  I demand to know the secret behind this crazy idea that some men cloth diaper.  My hubs?  Terrified of the things.  I laugh when companies refer to their dipes as “daddy friendly”.  IMO, no diaper is “daddy friendly”.  Potty trained children are “daddy friendly”.   Please refer to my drawing below for an explanation in mathematical terms.

Dads+Poopy Diapers=NO

So now that you’ve read 10 stupid/random things from me, comment and tell me about you.  What is your man incapable of doing?

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Want more Top Ten? Head over to Oh Amanda and check it out!

The big move is OVER!

All of our junk crap valuables stuff was shoved into a UHaul and taken off to the wonderful paradise of:

…my fiancé’s mom’s home.

(Note: I think if this blog post were a horror movie, NOW would be the time where someone important would cue scary music.)

It’s the first move, and it’s not permanent.  Our lease expired June 30th (The apartment complex wouldn’t allow us to add one more month…ugh!) and the new place we’ll be getting won’t be ready until mid-July/August 1st.  So, with an extra month between leases, we’ll be keeping good ‘ole MIL company.

It’s not all that bad I suppose.  I mean, I definitely don’t mind sharing a twin bed with Mike.  Cozy, right?  And the lack of privacy?  That’s nothing!  Just because we’re sharing a room with Mike’s twin brother and his girlfriend doesn’t mean we won’t get alone time!  Of course, I never mind if his mother decides to come in the room right after I drift off to sleep and try to discuss things with me.  Ask me a million times if I mind that the next month of my life will be spent wondering which random person put what random possession of mine where.  I betcha I’ll tell you I don’t mind at all.  Oh, and if the MIL ends up taking my luggage on a biking trip, using all my shampoo and conditioner, and nabbing a few of my shirts in the process…

I’ll just love it.

P.S. I do hope you’re all getting to know me well enough to notice this post was dripping with sarcasm.  For those who didn’t notice, check your feet.  There may be a puddle of dripped sarcasm by your feet.

So I was watching children today and I’ve been helping to potty train this little boy. He’ll pee in his potty, but that’s it. So I was watching him and he’s playing on the computer in the other room. I frequently poke my head in and asked him if he needs to use the potty but he just replies “nodankou!” I put his little brother down for a nap and decided I should check on the other boy again. I walk in and ask if he has to use the potty and he says yes! Oh yay, I am thrilled!

…

*sniff*

I think what he meant was that he already went? He gets up from his chair and I take one look at his pants.

Ugh.

So I take him upstairs to the changing area of the home and tell him to stay standing. I didn’t want to just leave poopy clothes in the poor family’s hamper so I decided to go get a bag. I told the boy to wait right there and not move (something he’s perfectly capable of doing). I get halfway up the stairs and he’s relocated to the top of the stairs, pants down, laying on his stomach. He mumbled something about laying down to help me. While adorable, caused much more mess. Because he pulled his pants down it got all over his legs. But then I look at the carpet and see poop all over the carpet. He had it on his socks! I have no idea how it got onto his socks, and there was quite a large amount on them.

I tell him to get up and walk back to the changing station. We undress him and I decide this will be easier if he leans over a chair.

Now let’s pause this story to add a little detail.

This family has a dog. Very old, very obnoxious. It follows you everywhere and doesn’t care what you’re doing-it will sit on you. Oh, you’re holding a baby? That’s okay! I’ll just sit on the baby too! I hate this dog. It does nothing but get in the way.

Let’s resume the story now, shall we?

So I’m wiping off the kid. He’s got poop all over his back and butt. Yeah, it’s messy but I don’t mind it too much. All in a days work.

But wait, why did I bring up the dog?

Guess who comes up and decides they’re going to be loveydovey? That’s right, the dog. I stand up to get another wipe, turn back around towards the kid, and see the dog. Oh so delightfully licking the kids butt.

EW.

Now the boy has this look on his face like “no no doggy, please stop licking me” which made me glad that he didn’t freak out or something. (I would freak out if a dog started licking my ass! Um, excuse me? NO.) So I’m trying to push this dog away and it does not care. I shove it (fairly hard) after a while and it won’t go away! So gross and so annoying!!! Finally I push it and get in it’s way too much. The dog started sniffing around and realized it could just lick the carpet. Um, yay?

So that was my eventful story. I’m doing quite well today. I’m getting a cold which makes this the 4th sickness I’ve gotten since working at the daycare. Erg. I’ve only been working there a month! Gee I love kids

Why do I hate Wednesdays?

Because they just exist.  There they are.  Right smack dab in the middle.  I can’t remember a time when I felt especially excited for a Wednesday or was relieved it was a Wednesday.  Let me explain it like this:

Monday. You’re probably thinking, “GUHHH Monday.”  But that’s the point.  Mondays take one for the team!  Mondays are the days that are like, “hey man, some day has to be the one where people have to get back to their weekly lives.”  You’ve gotta get up on Monday.  You have to get back to what you do.  It’s just…Monday.  And it has to exist and push our asses into the week.

Tuesday.  Alright, I think I’m getting the hang of this.  Monday is over with (such a relief) and we’re moving on with the week.  I’m thinking I can do this.

Thursday.  ”Tomorrow is Friday” is most likely the only thought that goes through your mind.  Perhaps you’re thinking of how great it is that you’ve made it (almost) through the week and it’s almost the weekend/pay day.

Friday.  Do I need to explain?  It’s the weekend!  Pay day, last day of the work week, and I don’t know about most people but I always get a really good vibe on Fridays.  Just the excitement that you made it through another week and have gotten to the weekend is GREAT.

Saturday.  Sleep in, stay up late.  Do whatever.  Day off.

Sunday.  Sleep in.  Rest, relax, do whatever again!  A bit of a nagging feeling of dread for Monday, but you know it has to come sooner or later.

Notice I skipped Wednesday.  We’ll get to that now.  What’s the use?  You’re kindasorta through the week and you’re kindasorta closer to the weekend but it’s nothing to be excited or happy about.  Wednesdays just exist, and that is why I hate them.  Plus, what a stupid day to have off!  I would MUCH prefer to have a Monday or Friday off.  That would be nice.

Oh well, stupid and random post but it does make sense.  Anyone else share my hate of Wednesdays?